On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize