i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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