I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
