We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize