Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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