I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
