my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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