I wish I could punch you in the face.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize