you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
this hospital has no fireball
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
