therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
