how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
