I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drunk is a universal language darling
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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