You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
