i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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