and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We need to rekindle our bromance
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you never un-have a 4some
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
