So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
