if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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