Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
