If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
