I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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