You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
