i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
