Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
