Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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