what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
