he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't turn off my feet"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize