I CAN MOONWALK!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
