just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
