So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
