Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
