I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize