so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
