I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
