In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize