You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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