We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
