turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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