Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My cat gives me a boner
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
