i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
