like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
