At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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