her vagine was all disorganized.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
