Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
