I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
