Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
