Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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