That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
