i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So much rum. So many feels.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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