and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
