Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
