Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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