Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
did i just pee glitter
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
