i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I checked into jail on foursquare
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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