Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize