oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
they need to just BURY HIM!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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