My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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