I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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