Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize