you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
