Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
