I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize