I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize