theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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