I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
