Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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