i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
