i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have tasted many bathrooms
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize