Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize