He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
