She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
