walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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