you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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