I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
