No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
