i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i barfeds in our rink
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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