The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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