i permit you to call me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just gargled with NyQuil
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
