Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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