Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
